I am learning a lesson right now. God is using my kids to teach me. It's not fun. It gives me panic attacks during the night. I have to take medication to sleep. I know I am not the first parent to learn this lesson. So, this is me reaching out to my friends in the blogging universe.
Please help me understand how to put distance between my own heart and my adult sons' choices.
This is the second time in two weeks, I have faced a situation where I have had to watch one kid or the other struggle his way through the serious consequences of his own choice. I want with all my heart to step in and make it stop. I want to take the stress away. I see myself as a doer. A problem solver. I want to fix these things. And I cannot.
It makes sense that being an adult comes with both freedom and responsibility and responsibility brings accountability. A young man cannot enjoy freedom without responsibility and accountability. I get that.
It seems that a parent walks on a thin line. I want my kids to have consequences that are appropriate given their diagnosis and capabilities. When I advocate for that, I am subject to criticism. "Let him grow up." "Stop babying him." And the problem comes in when these same critical professionals will need me and my husband in order to carry out their consequence. And then they want us to run right over and support THEM. And if all the professionals are busy supporting each other, then who is supporting the kid? Or, am I wrong to care about that?
My goal for today is to stay calm and remain objective. Calm and objective. Calm and objective. Perhaps repeating it enough can make it so.
I would really appreciate your thoughts. I could use a new perspective.